Hello,
This may not be a very structured post. I'm letting you all know that I will be creating my India blog here shortly and will let you know with an email or Facebook invitation.
I can't believe I'm leaving in five days as of tomorrow! It still seems completely surreal. My parents got me a beautiful new luggage set for Christmas that is hardcase black with a lace screenprint design on it that is distinct and sophisticated. It'll make it easy to find coming off of baggage claim.
I got to spend some concerted Auntie time with my nephews this Christmas. It was fun letting my motherly instincts kick in (I learned from the best)without having to have the job permanently!
I'd really like your prayer this week. I've got so much to do yet for lesson planning, getting details, doing insurance, etc. that I feel overwhelmed. I do have my parents, two international travelers, to help me. Please pray for my teaching to come together, as that is where I need the most confidence/grace. Also, there's still so much I don't know yet about the country, social graces there, etc.
I'll be back in good form soon enough. For now, it's growing pains...
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Emergence and Life
Oh Friends,
My heart feels full tonight. I think it feels like joy. I've had some sadnesses the last couple weeks, but things feel very hopeful and exciting right now, like water bubbling in a calm pool.
I want to share with you a few things I gained from Emergence, the four-day intensive conference I went to last week. First off, let me say, it was intense; 13-hour days don't lie. For me, lack of sleep vied with the need for water and food. Sometimes we'd go till almost four o'clock before lunchtime, and we weren't allowed to have water in the training room. Now, if you've been around me, you know my motto is "Have water, will travel". I had to step out a multitude of times just to drink the precious liquid. Combine these basic Maslow needs with emotionally vulnerable, often raw, soul-searching conversations and interactions and you've got the picture.
Now, having said all that, it was totally worth it. We were all there for a different reason, and mine, after mulling it over, was to develop greater authenticity in relationships and in my own personhood. Day one when we shared what we were there for a trainer asked me to do something on the spot that was authentic for me. I said, "I just can't call up authenticity! I can't do it on cue!" Of course, then I got to talking about India and my excitement over the color, life and possibilities for fashion/textile networking for my fair trade line there and he said, "I think you're being authentic! Class, did you sense authenticity here?" They all said yes.
What I learned over four days was that being authentic is not putting on my "authenticity" hat or "performing" authentically. It is who I am. I am authentic, therefore I will act authentically. I learned that the great, hairy mountain I thought I had to scale to reach an authentic state is really as simple as standing up and taking a step to the right--It is really just a subtle little switch in my thinking, a little thought where I tell myself it's ok to "go there". "Going there" could be blurting out an affectionate thought to my friend, doing a little dance when I get the urge, or could be as powerful as speaking with my whole voice with lots of air and diaphragm support or strongly asserting my opinions with emotion. It will be singing the song in my head, allowing the tears to be there, laughing my real laughs when something tickles my brain, and being downright silly at times.
I did a lot of repenting over this weekend, folks. I repented for withholding myself in my relationships and in life and for not valuing the people in my life. I repented of taking the people I love for granted and for only being partially present when with them. I said to the Lord, "Never again". This walled-off, self-protected self who cuts off the flow of her own life to herself and others will never again be me. When it comes to being authentic I am now willing to risk my time, my happiness, my relationships, and my life. So, help me, God. And please, hold me to it, friends. I need you. What's more, I value you.
I also learned about the nature of love. I learned that because God is love and I am in God, I have His love in me. I have the capacity to love anyone, so help me God. My love is not a thin channel of feeling and goodwill that I must muster up, but rather it is the state I am already in. I am in love. I am in a circle of love that encompasses everyone I come into contact with and as I consciously do the little things and the large actions of love I no longer have to worry if I have enough of love. I am simply loving out of who I am--a loving,authentic person :)
I ask for your prayers and support as I live out the life in me that has been there all along.
Love,
Jessica
My heart feels full tonight. I think it feels like joy. I've had some sadnesses the last couple weeks, but things feel very hopeful and exciting right now, like water bubbling in a calm pool.
I want to share with you a few things I gained from Emergence, the four-day intensive conference I went to last week. First off, let me say, it was intense; 13-hour days don't lie. For me, lack of sleep vied with the need for water and food. Sometimes we'd go till almost four o'clock before lunchtime, and we weren't allowed to have water in the training room. Now, if you've been around me, you know my motto is "Have water, will travel". I had to step out a multitude of times just to drink the precious liquid. Combine these basic Maslow needs with emotionally vulnerable, often raw, soul-searching conversations and interactions and you've got the picture.
Now, having said all that, it was totally worth it. We were all there for a different reason, and mine, after mulling it over, was to develop greater authenticity in relationships and in my own personhood. Day one when we shared what we were there for a trainer asked me to do something on the spot that was authentic for me. I said, "I just can't call up authenticity! I can't do it on cue!" Of course, then I got to talking about India and my excitement over the color, life and possibilities for fashion/textile networking for my fair trade line there and he said, "I think you're being authentic! Class, did you sense authenticity here?" They all said yes.
What I learned over four days was that being authentic is not putting on my "authenticity" hat or "performing" authentically. It is who I am. I am authentic, therefore I will act authentically. I learned that the great, hairy mountain I thought I had to scale to reach an authentic state is really as simple as standing up and taking a step to the right--It is really just a subtle little switch in my thinking, a little thought where I tell myself it's ok to "go there". "Going there" could be blurting out an affectionate thought to my friend, doing a little dance when I get the urge, or could be as powerful as speaking with my whole voice with lots of air and diaphragm support or strongly asserting my opinions with emotion. It will be singing the song in my head, allowing the tears to be there, laughing my real laughs when something tickles my brain, and being downright silly at times.
I did a lot of repenting over this weekend, folks. I repented for withholding myself in my relationships and in life and for not valuing the people in my life. I repented of taking the people I love for granted and for only being partially present when with them. I said to the Lord, "Never again". This walled-off, self-protected self who cuts off the flow of her own life to herself and others will never again be me. When it comes to being authentic I am now willing to risk my time, my happiness, my relationships, and my life. So, help me, God. And please, hold me to it, friends. I need you. What's more, I value you.
I also learned about the nature of love. I learned that because God is love and I am in God, I have His love in me. I have the capacity to love anyone, so help me God. My love is not a thin channel of feeling and goodwill that I must muster up, but rather it is the state I am already in. I am in love. I am in a circle of love that encompasses everyone I come into contact with and as I consciously do the little things and the large actions of love I no longer have to worry if I have enough of love. I am simply loving out of who I am--a loving,authentic person :)
I ask for your prayers and support as I live out the life in me that has been there all along.
Love,
Jessica
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Out With The Old...
Hello All,
This is a bittersweet moment for me--I'm typing on the floor in my nearly-empty apartment eating off a paper plate as I prepare to load my last carload of stuff and clean the floors and microwave.
I've loved this place--every bit of it. I love the light that dances off my vaulted ceiling, I love the red dining nook, I love my tangerine tree and my al fresco washer and dryer, and I love well...everything about it, even with its quirks. It's been a beautiful, blessed home to me and I'm so thankful for it.
Here's the rundown for the next month:
Tomorrow I attend a 4-day Emergence conference that is like emotional and relational boot camp for your soul. The days run from 10am-11pm Thurs-Sunday, except that Sunday at 9pm we have a "graduation", of a kind. I really need your prayers for these next four days, friends, as I will be undergoing some kind of heart and soul transformation. If you want more info about Emergence, go to www.generativesolutions.com, I believe.
Following that, as I'm staying with my friends the Lehrs, I will continue my part-time temp job and record a cd with them every day after work, as we've all been working on original music.
Following that, I go live with my parents in Harker Heights for the last few weeks before I go. My prayer send-off at my church here is on the 18th, which I'll drive back into Austin for. If all goes well, I'll leave country January 1st!
I could really use prayer for a couple things to happen: Namely, that my apartment would rent PRONTO as I'm paying on it for the next two months until it does. Secondly, that my visa would process and arrive PRONTO as it's two weeks overdue and my school will not book my airline tickets until they have a copy of it faxed to their hot little hands.
That's all for now. I'm sure I'll have much to tell in the next few weeks ahead.
Love you all.
This is a bittersweet moment for me--I'm typing on the floor in my nearly-empty apartment eating off a paper plate as I prepare to load my last carload of stuff and clean the floors and microwave.
I've loved this place--every bit of it. I love the light that dances off my vaulted ceiling, I love the red dining nook, I love my tangerine tree and my al fresco washer and dryer, and I love well...everything about it, even with its quirks. It's been a beautiful, blessed home to me and I'm so thankful for it.
Here's the rundown for the next month:
Tomorrow I attend a 4-day Emergence conference that is like emotional and relational boot camp for your soul. The days run from 10am-11pm Thurs-Sunday, except that Sunday at 9pm we have a "graduation", of a kind. I really need your prayers for these next four days, friends, as I will be undergoing some kind of heart and soul transformation. If you want more info about Emergence, go to www.generativesolutions.com, I believe.
Following that, as I'm staying with my friends the Lehrs, I will continue my part-time temp job and record a cd with them every day after work, as we've all been working on original music.
Following that, I go live with my parents in Harker Heights for the last few weeks before I go. My prayer send-off at my church here is on the 18th, which I'll drive back into Austin for. If all goes well, I'll leave country January 1st!
I could really use prayer for a couple things to happen: Namely, that my apartment would rent PRONTO as I'm paying on it for the next two months until it does. Secondly, that my visa would process and arrive PRONTO as it's two weeks overdue and my school will not book my airline tickets until they have a copy of it faxed to their hot little hands.
That's all for now. I'm sure I'll have much to tell in the next few weeks ahead.
Love you all.
Friday, November 11, 2011
"On the Road to Beautiful"
Oh my gosh,
It's been too long since I wrote.
I've been pondering so much in my preparations for India that it's hard this time to settle on any one thing to write--
I've just heard a jet plane go by overhead and that sound always gives me a little thrill of adventure and I immediately hear the song "I'm Leavin' on a Jet Plane" in my head. The last time I truly got to sing that song about a new adventure was when I was leaving for Italy in 2005. It's been that long.
I am excited about India and yet the truth that I am leaving is still sinking in by degrees. It's like getting into a very hot bath--first you dip your toe in, jerk it out, then step in to your ankles, then slowly lower your way into the water, part by part finally feeling the bliss of the heat. I'm doing all this preparatory work and still have such an active life going on here that it may not be till I get on the jet plane that I really feel I'm in it ankle-deep and maybe not till I'm in-country that I'll feel I've settled into the bath, so to speak. One thing is for certain--a bath is better enjoyed when you're in it than when you're only dipping in a toe and contemplating. I will make every effort to embrace the new culture and settle into it even if it's a little shocking to the senses at first. Soon I think it will feel wonderful.
I've been getting close again to the Father this week reading "The Shack" which is such an invitation for personal relationship with the persons of the Trinity--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Coupled with my preparations for India it's reminded me of a favorite Charlie Hall song, "On the Road to Beautiful". I'd like to give you the lyrics so that you can get a sense of where I've been and where I'm at. Although I'm not in the place of desperation right now that the song speaks of, I have been and am now coming through to this new and beautiful place.
On the Road to Beautiful
I crumble at Your kiss and grace
I'm a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life and all my love
Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
And on the road to beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power and pain
Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
You're my portion in this life
You're my strength now in my fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark I'll love You
I'll love You, I'll love You
I'll love You...
Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
And my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
I love You
I love You
I love You
It's been too long since I wrote.
I've been pondering so much in my preparations for India that it's hard this time to settle on any one thing to write--
I've just heard a jet plane go by overhead and that sound always gives me a little thrill of adventure and I immediately hear the song "I'm Leavin' on a Jet Plane" in my head. The last time I truly got to sing that song about a new adventure was when I was leaving for Italy in 2005. It's been that long.
I am excited about India and yet the truth that I am leaving is still sinking in by degrees. It's like getting into a very hot bath--first you dip your toe in, jerk it out, then step in to your ankles, then slowly lower your way into the water, part by part finally feeling the bliss of the heat. I'm doing all this preparatory work and still have such an active life going on here that it may not be till I get on the jet plane that I really feel I'm in it ankle-deep and maybe not till I'm in-country that I'll feel I've settled into the bath, so to speak. One thing is for certain--a bath is better enjoyed when you're in it than when you're only dipping in a toe and contemplating. I will make every effort to embrace the new culture and settle into it even if it's a little shocking to the senses at first. Soon I think it will feel wonderful.
I've been getting close again to the Father this week reading "The Shack" which is such an invitation for personal relationship with the persons of the Trinity--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Coupled with my preparations for India it's reminded me of a favorite Charlie Hall song, "On the Road to Beautiful". I'd like to give you the lyrics so that you can get a sense of where I've been and where I'm at. Although I'm not in the place of desperation right now that the song speaks of, I have been and am now coming through to this new and beautiful place.
On the Road to Beautiful
I crumble at Your kiss and grace
I'm a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life and all my love
Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
And on the road to beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power and pain
Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
You're my portion in this life
You're my strength now in my fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark I'll love You
I'll love You, I'll love You
I'll love You...
Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
And my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing
I love You
I love You
I love You
Monday, October 17, 2011
"Une Belle Melange"
...French for "a beautiful mess".
I watched this movie some time ago in which there was a restaurant whose cooking assistants had burnt what was going to be beautiful baked apples wrapped in puffed pastry. The frantic head chef called his retired chef friend in a panic to do something about the terrible fix he was in since he had nothing to serve his banquet-full of guests for dessert! So, what did this seasoned chef do but order everyone to peel off the charred black crusts surrounding the apples, which were still moist and aromatic. He quickly made batches of caramelized nuts, chopped up the cooked apples, alternated the apples with the delicious nuts and layers of creme fraiche, and topped it off with nutmeg and chocolate shavings. Voila! "Une Belle Melange" was born!
So, ma' frien's, what does this mean for me? I looked up "melange". Its other meanings range from the benign "medley" to the more violent "melange zone"--"an area of intense folding, faulting, and metamorphic activity between two converging plates." Sacre bleu! If life could be described merging all these definitions, this is what mine is.
I have a few days left at my current temp job and will need another one through the month of November. I am making music with a husband/wife couple of musicians every week. We are planning a fundraising dinner show in mid-November that will be so enjoyable, incorporating jazz, original songs, and innovative instrumentals. We're also planning to record a cd during the second week in December when we're all available and I'm not working. I have to post my apartment and all my furniture on Craig's List in the next few days and be my own salesperson to dispense with it all except for a bench my grandfather made. I have to have a sale and get rid of all my excess stuff after deciding whether each item will benefit me 20 years from now or whether I should ditch it. I'm attending a four-day conference in early December. I'm taking an online course for 11th and 12th-grade curriculum running through November and December, and I'm plowing through a reading list of literature that spans the centuries in further preparation. Oh, and I'm working on my work visa for India. Have I covered it all? Oh!--I'm skyping Bangalore at seven in the morning on weekends to coordinate curriculum and lesson planning with the staff I've yet to meet as they're 10.5 hours ahead of us and halfway around the world.
Alongside all this, even as I make new contacts in India I'm being intentional in my friendships here. After all, what is life without those to share it with, whether long-distance or right in front of you?
And so it goes...
I am very tempted in my weakness to develop a severe case of myopia and view the present as tectonic upheaval, a clash of converging realities with a million things happening at once and my life's "plate" careening toward the not-too-distant future. But that would make my life fit for a drama queen, and I desire not to use such hyperbole.
The funny thing about the current melange is that when I pull my nose out of it and take a step back it's still pretty tasty. I'm doing so many things I enjoy with good people and also looking forward to the time ahead. I do have to get my hands dirty and dig into the mix to create some layers that make sense out of seemingly random ingredients, but it's fun! I feel like God,the Iron Chef, has stepped in and said, "Burnt apples? I meant for this to have a hint of smokiness. It pairs better with the creme. Oh, and while you're at it, please listen up and I'll show you how to turn this mess into something beautiful."
Aah--
Une belle melange.
I watched this movie some time ago in which there was a restaurant whose cooking assistants had burnt what was going to be beautiful baked apples wrapped in puffed pastry. The frantic head chef called his retired chef friend in a panic to do something about the terrible fix he was in since he had nothing to serve his banquet-full of guests for dessert! So, what did this seasoned chef do but order everyone to peel off the charred black crusts surrounding the apples, which were still moist and aromatic. He quickly made batches of caramelized nuts, chopped up the cooked apples, alternated the apples with the delicious nuts and layers of creme fraiche, and topped it off with nutmeg and chocolate shavings. Voila! "Une Belle Melange" was born!
So, ma' frien's, what does this mean for me? I looked up "melange". Its other meanings range from the benign "medley" to the more violent "melange zone"--"an area of intense folding, faulting, and metamorphic activity between two converging plates." Sacre bleu! If life could be described merging all these definitions, this is what mine is.
I have a few days left at my current temp job and will need another one through the month of November. I am making music with a husband/wife couple of musicians every week. We are planning a fundraising dinner show in mid-November that will be so enjoyable, incorporating jazz, original songs, and innovative instrumentals. We're also planning to record a cd during the second week in December when we're all available and I'm not working. I have to post my apartment and all my furniture on Craig's List in the next few days and be my own salesperson to dispense with it all except for a bench my grandfather made. I have to have a sale and get rid of all my excess stuff after deciding whether each item will benefit me 20 years from now or whether I should ditch it. I'm attending a four-day conference in early December. I'm taking an online course for 11th and 12th-grade curriculum running through November and December, and I'm plowing through a reading list of literature that spans the centuries in further preparation. Oh, and I'm working on my work visa for India. Have I covered it all? Oh!--I'm skyping Bangalore at seven in the morning on weekends to coordinate curriculum and lesson planning with the staff I've yet to meet as they're 10.5 hours ahead of us and halfway around the world.
Alongside all this, even as I make new contacts in India I'm being intentional in my friendships here. After all, what is life without those to share it with, whether long-distance or right in front of you?
And so it goes...
I am very tempted in my weakness to develop a severe case of myopia and view the present as tectonic upheaval, a clash of converging realities with a million things happening at once and my life's "plate" careening toward the not-too-distant future. But that would make my life fit for a drama queen, and I desire not to use such hyperbole.
The funny thing about the current melange is that when I pull my nose out of it and take a step back it's still pretty tasty. I'm doing so many things I enjoy with good people and also looking forward to the time ahead. I do have to get my hands dirty and dig into the mix to create some layers that make sense out of seemingly random ingredients, but it's fun! I feel like God,the Iron Chef, has stepped in and said, "Burnt apples? I meant for this to have a hint of smokiness. It pairs better with the creme. Oh, and while you're at it, please listen up and I'll show you how to turn this mess into something beautiful."
Aah--
Une belle melange.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Separation Anxiety
Hello, All.
I'm experiencing quite a duality in my thoughts these days:
If you have kids or know what developmental stages they go through then you know about "separation anxiety". This is when Mom and Dad have to leave the kid for the first time and the child thinks their world is falling apart. When I was about 12 or 13 years old I had the privilege of babysitting a little girl the first time her parents left her with someone else. She screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs for two point five solid hours till I was driven to distraction. Needless to say, when her parents got home, I let them know with a plastered smile and glazed eyes that their little girl had "had a hard time and been crying," or some other such minimalistic statement to convey to them the stupidity of leaving their little girl for the first time with anyone other than a doting grandmother who was mercifully deaf.
The past two weeks I have been that little girl in the moments just prior to her parent's night out--I sense something's coming that's completely other than what I've known and I've been internally freaking. I've been worrying about loneliness, more than anything. I've been worried that when I go to Bangalore I will be alone. Completely alone. The Father has assured me every time I talk to Him about it that He will be with me. He has no other answer for me than that. I know it is enough, but it sure takes my courage to trust Him with that. He's also asked, "Do you trust Me?" Yes, I do. Like the child, though, I haven't yet learned "object permanence" when it comes to God and His solid ways. I know He is always there, and that He will be enough. This should be the end of the story, but I'm human. With quivering lip I imagine my worst fear that it will be just "me and God" and that I might as well be on a desert island as surrounded by the sea of people in Bangalore that I will not know. I'm worried that to them I will look like a pretty albino :)
I know that what I am going to is good and that underneath all my fears is a settled peace. It will be fine. It will be good. But oh, I will miss my friends and people here--people that know me and are getting to know me; people to whom I am familiar. I will miss having a known place.
But then I am reminded of the scripture in John that says "Let not your heart be troubled...I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am you may be also." (John 14:1-3)
These are comforting words: "Let not your heart be troubled." Ok. So in many moments I waver between the "rest of faith" and a child facing separation anxiety from everything she knows. I have to trust God that this "place" in India He's preparing for me is a good one, and that He will provide me friends and a support network and Christian fellowship. They will not replace the ones I have now, but they will be good ones.
So, if you hear me "screaming", as it were, these next few months, pat me on the back, reassure me and hand me a warm glass of soy milk. And do pray for me--Pray that God has made a way in advance that "where He is there I may also be."
Thanks:)
I'm experiencing quite a duality in my thoughts these days:
If you have kids or know what developmental stages they go through then you know about "separation anxiety". This is when Mom and Dad have to leave the kid for the first time and the child thinks their world is falling apart. When I was about 12 or 13 years old I had the privilege of babysitting a little girl the first time her parents left her with someone else. She screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs for two point five solid hours till I was driven to distraction. Needless to say, when her parents got home, I let them know with a plastered smile and glazed eyes that their little girl had "had a hard time and been crying," or some other such minimalistic statement to convey to them the stupidity of leaving their little girl for the first time with anyone other than a doting grandmother who was mercifully deaf.
The past two weeks I have been that little girl in the moments just prior to her parent's night out--I sense something's coming that's completely other than what I've known and I've been internally freaking. I've been worrying about loneliness, more than anything. I've been worried that when I go to Bangalore I will be alone. Completely alone. The Father has assured me every time I talk to Him about it that He will be with me. He has no other answer for me than that. I know it is enough, but it sure takes my courage to trust Him with that. He's also asked, "Do you trust Me?" Yes, I do. Like the child, though, I haven't yet learned "object permanence" when it comes to God and His solid ways. I know He is always there, and that He will be enough. This should be the end of the story, but I'm human. With quivering lip I imagine my worst fear that it will be just "me and God" and that I might as well be on a desert island as surrounded by the sea of people in Bangalore that I will not know. I'm worried that to them I will look like a pretty albino :)
I know that what I am going to is good and that underneath all my fears is a settled peace. It will be fine. It will be good. But oh, I will miss my friends and people here--people that know me and are getting to know me; people to whom I am familiar. I will miss having a known place.
But then I am reminded of the scripture in John that says "Let not your heart be troubled...I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am you may be also." (John 14:1-3)
These are comforting words: "Let not your heart be troubled." Ok. So in many moments I waver between the "rest of faith" and a child facing separation anxiety from everything she knows. I have to trust God that this "place" in India He's preparing for me is a good one, and that He will provide me friends and a support network and Christian fellowship. They will not replace the ones I have now, but they will be good ones.
So, if you hear me "screaming", as it were, these next few months, pat me on the back, reassure me and hand me a warm glass of soy milk. And do pray for me--Pray that God has made a way in advance that "where He is there I may also be."
Thanks:)
Friday, September 16, 2011
An Interstitial Look at the Exciting Near Future
Hello All,
Well, here's some BIG NEWS from me:
I am moving to Bangalore, India to teach English Literature in an international school to college-prep level high school students from about 20 different countries! "When?", you may ask. I'll be leaving right after New Year's Day. Nothing like changing countries to ring in the new year!
I feel almost weird writing this down. I mean, for the entire time I've been blogging I've been looking forward to and imagining what's next. Now I know what it's going to be, although I will still be in my interstitial season for another few months before I go.
I've had a growing fascination with India for the last few years, especially the fashion, which I think is gorgeous. I also think the people are beautiful and the food is really good, too. I am looking forward to the life and color this culture has to offer.
The school I'll be teaching at gets great reviews, and seems really solid. The benefits are just what I've needed to make this feasible, too. They cover airfare, housing,and insurance. My salary is tax-free for the first two years--Woot!, and the cost of living is quite low. This will be great for me financially, as it will enable me to pay down on my school loans significantly.
I can't say that I'm dying to be an English teacher, but I feel positive about it, and this is a really good opportunity. I think I may find it more fulfilling than I think. And who knows what else may come about from being in India?
I guess this leap of faith I'm planning to take is kind of like sky-diving was for me--there was the moment of hesitation when my hands reflexively clung to the plane before I let go and trusted the guy strapped to my back to fly us to safety and launch the 'chute in time. That whole experience was surreal but oddly familiar, as I'd actually dreamed about doing it before I did it. Then I did it, and it was actually quite peaceful--puzzlingly so.
This is the way I feel about the India position right now--there's still parts of me that are mentally "clinging to the plane", but the thing is, I can totally see myself doing this. So I will. I think when I fulfill a dream it seems surreal in waking simply because it has been in my dream world for so long that it's just so natural to me already, but it's switching worlds from dream to reality. That's the surreality of it.
I still have several months left here during which God will provide and lots of preparations will be made, so I'd appreciate your continued prayers and support for the here-and-now. I'm going to keep this blog going in "interstitial" mode, because that's what I'm still in. When I get to India, then I'll come up with something else.
Jessica,
Signing off from The Meantime
Well, here's some BIG NEWS from me:
I am moving to Bangalore, India to teach English Literature in an international school to college-prep level high school students from about 20 different countries! "When?", you may ask. I'll be leaving right after New Year's Day. Nothing like changing countries to ring in the new year!
I feel almost weird writing this down. I mean, for the entire time I've been blogging I've been looking forward to and imagining what's next. Now I know what it's going to be, although I will still be in my interstitial season for another few months before I go.
I've had a growing fascination with India for the last few years, especially the fashion, which I think is gorgeous. I also think the people are beautiful and the food is really good, too. I am looking forward to the life and color this culture has to offer.
The school I'll be teaching at gets great reviews, and seems really solid. The benefits are just what I've needed to make this feasible, too. They cover airfare, housing,and insurance. My salary is tax-free for the first two years--Woot!, and the cost of living is quite low. This will be great for me financially, as it will enable me to pay down on my school loans significantly.
I can't say that I'm dying to be an English teacher, but I feel positive about it, and this is a really good opportunity. I think I may find it more fulfilling than I think. And who knows what else may come about from being in India?
I guess this leap of faith I'm planning to take is kind of like sky-diving was for me--there was the moment of hesitation when my hands reflexively clung to the plane before I let go and trusted the guy strapped to my back to fly us to safety and launch the 'chute in time. That whole experience was surreal but oddly familiar, as I'd actually dreamed about doing it before I did it. Then I did it, and it was actually quite peaceful--puzzlingly so.
This is the way I feel about the India position right now--there's still parts of me that are mentally "clinging to the plane", but the thing is, I can totally see myself doing this. So I will. I think when I fulfill a dream it seems surreal in waking simply because it has been in my dream world for so long that it's just so natural to me already, but it's switching worlds from dream to reality. That's the surreality of it.
I still have several months left here during which God will provide and lots of preparations will be made, so I'd appreciate your continued prayers and support for the here-and-now. I'm going to keep this blog going in "interstitial" mode, because that's what I'm still in. When I get to India, then I'll come up with something else.
Jessica,
Signing off from The Meantime
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)